My Two First Loves Ch. 41: A Disturbing Arrest

We wanted to provide some context for why the My Two First Loves (MTFL) writers chose to include the sensitive content in Chapter 41 (spoilers ahead):

Players who chose the Black version of Noah can choose to witness a disturbing arrest that evokes the struggle of the Black Lives Matter movement (BLM). Why did the writers choose to include this scene and how was it approached?

Bre: We chose to include this scene, not to shock or sensationalize, but to present a reality: Eric Garner, Javier Ambler, Willie Ray Banks, James Brown, Byron Williams, Elijah McClain, George Floyd and entirely too many others are all Black men whose last words were, "I can't breathe." 

For Black people, run-ins with the police can be deadly, and whether a crime has been committed or not, no one person has the right to be a judge, jury, and executioner. In the flashback, Noah is absolutely in the wrong... but we've spent 40 chapters getting to know him. We've seen how sweet he is with his sister, how much he supports his mother, how fierce his feelings are for our main character. He plays a role in other people's lives... just like everyone named above.

Brianna: Throughout My Two First Loves, we’ve been aiming to portray our characters’ brushes with crime and law enforcement in a responsible way. What exactly that looked like was a question we grappled with at length before we arrived at the final version of that scene.

I think in this day and age, it’s difficult to portray all cops as heroes when reality is so much more complicated. In many cases, Black men in Noah’s position are not treated kindly. So we approached the scene with the intent to reflect that reality rather than ignore it.

Coral: As one of the leads on My Two First Loves, I wanted to make sure we were amplifying the voices that deserved and needed to be amplified. When we decided to tackle this topic, that meant making sure Bre not only felt comfortable writing the scene, but that she had the support she needed to get the scene approved at every level.

The scene went through countless iterations, a skip button was added, content warnings were made explicitly clear, and we made sure our Quality Assurance team, Sensitivity Team, and higher ups were all on board. And, finally, the scene has made its way to you.

On another note, to what extent do you feel Choices should reflect reality versus wish fulfillment?

Bre: Before I worked at Pixelberry, I was a Choices player, so I know what it's like to be excited to disappear into Cordonia, past and present. But when making a commitment to represent people, you have to really see them. Who they are, what they want, and the struggles they face. Otherwise, it's not representation, it's tokenism. Scenes like this won't have a place in every story, but before we ask players to dive into the worlds we create, we also have a responsibility to ask them to take a good look at the one we're in.

Brianna: I think there’s room for both of those things in Choices. I’d even argue that escapism is the most effective when parts of it have roots in reality. When I’m really immersed in a story, it’s because the characters breathe like living people, and the world they reside in feels like it has real depth. Balancing our desire to tackle important issues within the format of Choices is a tough tightrope to walk, but it’s definitely possible and I’m proud the studio has made that the case.

Editorial note from CEO Oliver: We’ve been discussing escapism vs realism internally here at Pixelberry. Some of our books will continue to be more of an idealized version of the world, a place where some of our players can escape from the stresses of the world. Other books will continue to be more realistic, helping to highlight important topics to our team. As our writers have written about in this post, we take the gift and responsibility of Choices seriously, trying to use it to entertain, to inspire, and to critique the world we all share.

What does it mean to be a writer who's a person of color in 2020, especially in the context of the BLM movement?

Bre: Since March, my two focuses have been the rising number of lives lost to COVID-19 and the rising number of Black and brown lives lost to various instances of racism and police brutality. There were days that the amount of death just seemed too much, and on those days, I went to work and wrote about a girl surrounded by love on all sides. On other days, I watched the protests in my neighborhood, felt the frustration, the fear, the uncertainty, and on those days, I tried to capture it for everyone who wouldn't have that experience firsthand. The duality between creating safe, enjoyable entertainment that serves as a much needed distraction while also keeping my finger on the pulse of what's really happening is the foundation of being a Black woman writer in 2020 for me.

Brianna: As an Asian American writer, 2020 has been a year of really reexamining how complacent I’ve been. There’s a metric ton of work to be done in terms of getting people to extend their empathy to others — whether it be to uplift the BLM movement, assuage anti-Chinese sentiments that rose with coronavirus, or address the myriad other issues plaguing this year. I’d like to improve and be more mindful as a writer, and help amplify voices that need to be amplified.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with our fans?

Bre: This scene wasn't done willy-nilly. A lot of time and thought went into it, from the writing stage all the way until it made it to your screens. Tons of people lent their voices to make sure that the scene came out the best way we know how, and if you choose to read it, I hope it resonates in a way that's safe and impactful.

Coral: Writing about present day issues in a way that is both realistic and tactful is difficult, and no single employee gets to decide what the final product is. Every person on this team and beyond had concerns about how our intentions would be perceived by both casual players and longtime fans. At the end of the day, we felt including the scene was more important than any criticism we might receive. While this scene is not easy to read, it is incredibly well-written and resonant. I am so proud of Bre for writing it, and the rest of our team for making room for this part of our story.

Thank you to Bre and the entire team for approaching this scene with love, heart, and diligence. To our players, as we journey forward with each new chapter, we hope that you continue to enjoy the rest of My Two First Loves.

- The Pixelberry Team